Break the Cycle

Posted @ Jun. 07 2011 02:28PM by Alex - in-print

Lucy’s heart broke as she realized that the anxiety her once-happy daughter Dulce was experiencing was caused by her own hand. Being disciplined by hand was all Lucy knew as a child. Growing up, she was made to feel subservient by her parents, and was left with few choices. Now in the parental role, she had destroyed her own daughter’s natural curiosity and depleted her self-esteem.

Pregnant a second time, Lucy wanted to break the cycle, but she didn’t know how. Then she heard of the Children’s Home Society of Florida (CHS), one of the oldest statewide organizations in Florida, which has been serving the needs of children and families for nearly a century.

Founded in 1902 as an adoption agency, CHS has successfully placed more than 37,000 children in loving, adoptive homes. More recently, the organization has expanded its services to include a steadfast campaign called Healthy Families Florida, designed to end child abuse and neglect.

“I wanted to be a good mom, but I felt I was making too many mistakes with my first daughter,” Lucy explained recently. “I didn’t have the maturity to know enough to parent her because of my own childhood. I wanted what was best for my daughters and thought maybe Healthy Families could help.”

CHS provides a number of services in the Marion County area, including the Healthy Families Florida prevention program, says Jennifer Anchors, CHS Mid-Florida Division executive director. The voluntary home visiting program staff works with parents before any child abuse occurs, often before the child is even born.

Healthy Families Florida begins working with new mothers when they are pregnant and continues to provide services until the child is five years old. The program recognizes that many children are living in at-risk situations, in homes where domestic violence is a threat, due to young mothers or mothers without a good support system.

“Babies do not come with instruction manuals,” says Anchors, so the program itself offers skill teaching, with an emphasis on the developmental stages of children.

“One of the common myths people have is that all parents should know better,” says Anchors. “The truth of the matter is that unless we see something different, we will parent the way we were parented, because we don’t know better—we haven’t seen anything different.” In Lucy’s case, she really did assume all families functioned the way hers did.

CHS works toward providing the parents and other caregivers living in the home with the knowledge and skills they need to create a stable home, free from child abuse and neglect, so children can grow up healthy, nurtured and ready to succeed in school and in life.
Healthy Families Florida has a proven track record. Ninety-eight percent of the families served by the program have not had any instances of child abuse and neglect within one year of program completion. Anchors places emphasis on the voluntary nature of the program, and notes that anyone can refer themselves or someone they know and love.

After beginning the program, Lucy noticed changes almost immediately. Although she suffered from post-partum depression after the birth of Dulce, she felt nothing but the joy of motherhood after bringing home her second daughter, Alexa. Having met regularly with her CHS Family Support Worker, Lucy learned how to practice patience, to discipline without hitting and to allow Alexa to safely satisfy her curiosity. “I know now that children need to learn from their mistakes, and I respect that,” Lucy says. “As children, they need to be respected too.”

Healthy Families has not only changed Lucy’s parenting approach with Alexa but also helped mend her relationship with Dulce. Lucy is now committed to increasing her daughters’ self-confidence, and has watched Dulce’s scholastic performance improve and her happiness shine with glee.

“I am very grateful for what CHS has done for my family,” says Lucy, “It has brought us together and helped us become who we are meant to be.”

for information:
Samantha Knuth, MSW
Children’s Home Society of Florida
www.chsfl.org/locations/mid-florida
352.732.1412 

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